The Stag and the Doe
by jaisydaisy
Summary: The beginning. A short one shot about Patronuses and realisation.


Everybody knew the Forbidden Forest was full of dangerous magical creatures. Professor Kettleburn was always reminding the first years during Care of Magical Creatures that he'd once encountered an entire nest of Acromantulas and that a flock of Bowtruckles once gnawed off his entire left leg in the Forest (he never said how he'd lost his right). Only a few select students knew however that during the winter, the Forbidden Forest became eerily still. Many of the deadly creatures in the forest hibernated in burrows or migrated to avoid the heavy snow that blanketed the region. The clearing on the edge of the forest which was often used for lessons for the upper levels became a winter wonderland, shielded from the eyes of the castle while at the same time close enough to Hagrid's hut as to not be completely isolated; which is why on this particular evening the Head Girl Lily Evans had decided to use it as a place to practise her Patronus Charm.

Lily was muttering the spell over and over as she walked deeper into the forest, following the familiar path. The unfamiliar words tripped and stumbled their way over her tongue on the way out and she chastised herself crossly.

"Some witch you make, Evans. Can't even _say_ the damn spell."

She kicked aside a stick blocking the way to the clearing and continued on her way. The seventh years had learnt the theory of the complex charm in their last Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. Professor Fangborn, one of Dumbledore's close friends, had impressed on them the importance of this particular charm in its defensive value against Dementors, the most recent allies of the mass murderer calling himself Lord Voldemort. Fangborn had mimicked the Dementor's curious effect by giving the seventh years a thimbleful each of a potion Slughorn had made specially (Slughorn had told Lily in confidence that he never wished to repay favours to Professor Fangborn again; the potion was by far the most disturbing Slughorn had ever made). The experience had left the seventh years severely shaken and afterwards Fangborn had led them all into the warmth of the Great Hall and forced them to consume liberal amounts of chocolate and butterbeer. During this chocolate binge the professor had reminded them all that only an immensely powerful witch or wizard could produce a corporeal patronus while a Dementor was draining them. They would all be working in groups over the next few weeks however to work to produce at least a shield that would keep a Dementor at bay, theoretically, until help arrived. The lesson had left a strong impression on Lily however and she was determined to teach herself how to produce a corporeal Patronus before the humiliation of a group project.

She quickly reached the clearing and took a moment to catch her breath. The ground was covered in fresh snow and a gap in the trees above let down sunlight that made it sparkle quite prettily. The creek that ran alongside the clearing had frozen over and Lily could hear nothing but her own breathing and see no movement other than her breath misting in front of her. Even the wind seemed to have stopped. It really was a perfect place to practise spells, aside from the obvious drawbacks of it being extremely cold and wet.

Lily quickly cast a warming charm over herself and melted a small patch of snow near the creek for a dry place to sit. Pulling out her book and resting it across her lap, she looked at the picture (a bemused looking wizard with a large lizard bursting out the end of his wand) and said firmly "Expecto Patronum"

Nothing happened.

Realising that she would need to focus more on the imagery side of the spell, she laid her book to the side and closed her eyes. A happy memory, a happy memory, she needed to focus on a _happy memory_…. when she got Head Girl? No, her anger when she found out that _Potter_ was Head Boy kind of ruined that one…. her first kiss? No, incredibly disappointing really, sorry Amos… what about when she found out she was going to Hogwarts? If that wasn't happy she didn't know what was. She seized tightly the image of Professor McGonagall explaining to her parents that all the things she could do weren't a sign of troublemaking, that she was special and would be going to a magical school with people just like her.

Gripping her wand fiercely Lily opened her mouth and said "Expecto Patrolleum – I mean – Patronum….. dang it…."

Her eyes still closed, Lily sighed and lowered her wand. She heard a soft chuckle from behind her.

Flicking her eyes open and whipping her head around Lily stared intently over the clearing. There was no one there. Only her own footprints had disturbed the snow. Whipping her head around again she peered into the forest in front of her. She could sense no movement whatsoever. Funny, she could have sworn – …. no matter. It was clear she was alone. Nevertheless it would be stupid to close her eyes again, there _was_ a war going on and Voldemort's followers would jump at the chance to find a person of her blood status alone in the woods.

Peering into the oncoming gloom she once again pictured the euphoria of finding out she was going to Hogwarts and said to a particularly gnarled tree conversationally "Expecto Patronum".

A soft silvery mist came out her wand and Lily beamed. At least it was a start. She'd always been good with Charms. What was she doing wrong though? Pulling her book back onto her lap she read the alarmingly large section under the sub-heading "Failed Attempts".

"_If the spell produced appears as mere silver mist_" Lily read aloud "_the happy feeling or memory envisioned is not powerful enough to produce a corporeal Patronus_". Frowning, she put the book down, leaned back and looked at it again, as if hoping a new angle would change what it said. Not powerful enough?

"What other _happy _MEMORIES do I HAVE?" she yelled angrily into the forest.

A rustling from a bush to her left suddenly disturbed her and she sat up straight, gripping her wand and pointing it threateningly at the bush in question. Until three seconds beforehand the forest had been completely silent. Maybe her yell had startled some carnivorous horse and her temper was going to be the death of her after all. After a few more tense seconds the rustling bush parted and revealed a majestic white stag. He looked surprised and disgruntled to find her pointing her wand at him. If stags could look disgruntled, Lily thought.

She lowered her wand slowly and placed both her hands in her lap, not wishing to startle him again. He didn't appear to be the skittish type however and he lowered his head and approached Lily slowly, sniffling at the grass by her toes that she'd uncovered by her spell. Lily caught her breath. "You're magnificent" she whispered reverently. His head lifted up quickly when she spoke and he looked at her, his head cocked slightly. The stag's expression seemed to be asking the question _You really think so?_ Lily stared at him with an expression of awe and he stared back at her almost defiantly.

She meant it though. He was quite large and cloud white with a honey coloured underbelly. His antlers were big and none were broken, which Lily took to be a sign that the mating season hadn't started yet. His antlers stuck up in all directions in a higgledy piggledy way that reminded Lily of something. The stag's large black eyes met Lily's emerald ones and caught them there for a moment and there was such an expression of amusement and familiarity in them that she almost laughed.

"You remind me of Potter" she said finally after a few more moments of staring. Then she laughed as the stag started in fright at this break in the silence but she fancied that he was offended by her statement.

"Don't worry," she reassured him. "That's not a bad thing. Not anymore." The stag continued to look confusedly at her. She elaborated.

"I've been spending a lot of time with him recently. James, that is…" she amended when the stag continued to look bewildered.

"He's not as bad as I thought, or maybe he's changed. Anyway, we've both been Heads together and he's been really helpful with everything, especially with the whole Voldemort thing because I'm just as scared as everyone else is, you know, I don't know what to do, but James just seems to know and Dumbledore was right, he really is a natural leader and… I don't know what I would have done this year without him." Lily stopped herself at this statement, not quite sure where this speech had come from but at the same time secure in the knowledge that it was the truth. She looked back at the stag who looked just as surprised as she felt.

He slowly moved his snout right up close to her face and she held her breath, not daring to move an inch in case she scared him off. She couldn't hold in her laughter though when he began to sniffle at her hair.

"That's not grass you know. Grass is green" she giggled and tentatively pushed his snout away. He leant into her hand and sniffed at that instead, and then at her face and her neck, narrowly avoiding poking her eye out with his antlers, until she fell backwards onto her book, laughing.

"You're just as affectionate as the real James Potter" she laughed and she pushed his nose away again and tried to pick up her book and find her page. The stag persisted in his efforts to sniffle at everything, especially once Lily had found the page. He continually poked his snout at the subheading Lily had been reading before and she had to dodge his antlers each time he did so. "What is your problem?" Lily asked of him, avoiding his antlers yet again and looking down at the page. A damp spot, from his nose presumably, had appeared on the page right over the words 'feeling or memory'. Lily tutted at him and said "This is a _library book,_ you daft animal." The stag looked at her proudly and sat himself down to eat some grass. She looked back at the wet spot on the page and rubbed at it with her fingers. Feeling or memory, she thought absentmindedly as she rubbed. "Feeling OR memory!" Lily shouted triumphantly and the stag looked at her alarmed but also looked a little pleased with himself too. Lily closed the book, picked up her wand and stood up. Keeping in her mind the happiness she felt at this very moment, the wonder she felt at having had a conversation with a wild stag and the excitement that she'd always felt at being apart of the wizarding world she pointed her wand across the clearing and said confidently _"Expecto Patronum"_

A large silver mass erupted out the end of her wand and moved around the clearing so quickly it took Lily a few moments to realise what form it was. It slowed down a little as it circled back towards her and Lily saw that it was a doe. She was a little smaller than the stag but stood just as proudly, blinking at the two in the clearing with long lashes. Lily's first thought was 'Oh. Of course.'

When the stag beside her saw it was a doe he leapt up quickly and stared at Lily with a look of wonder equal to her own when he first entered the clearing. He bounded over to the doe and they played together, reality mixing with magic for a few blissful moments. The two chased each other round the clearing and Lily laughed to see the stag trip over the snow in his excitement. When the two stopped in the middle of the clearing the doe curved her neck around the stag's before disappearing.

Lily stood wonderstruck for a few moments, her wand hanging limply by her side. "Did you see that?" she whispered to the stag. James, ecstatically happy and forgetting to act like a stag for a moment, nodded. Lily, just as happy, didn't notice.

"I cast a Patronus!" she laughed. "I actually did it! I'm going back to the castle to tell Marlene,"

She turned around to say goodbye to the stag but found the clearing empty and just as silent as before. Without the stag, the clearing suddenly felt quite foreboding and Lily realised that it had turned quite dark in the time she had been practising. Curfew was in a few minutes and she hurried back to Gryffindor tower, with the rising full moon guiding her way.

**AN: first story on this website, please be kind! **


End file.
